Day 5: For the love of a Serial Killer

“Antarctica is like a beautiful woman, in many ways the most beautiful in the world. The only problem is that she also happens to be a serial killer.” –Matt, our favorite guide, age 20.

We have fallen a little bit in love with this continent. Our days have begun to take on a great routine of being woken up by the Chilean captain’s voice announcing the current time and weather, breakfast, and any other important facts for the day (we are planning to record this at least once so we can use it as an alarm clock in the future). After getting dressed and having breakfast we prepare for our first landing. We then begin our daily routine of eating, exploring, sauna-ing, eating, exploring, sauna-ing, eating, attending a lecture (or running in late from the sauna, all suspiciously red in the face), and then reverting to our college days hanging out with the 30-somethings on the boat. Warren’s schedule is much the same but for each time you read “sauna” or “hanging out” change it to “standing outside in the freezing cold and taking photos” or “meeting the last few people on the boat he hasn’t met yet.”

Yesterday was our first landing on the actual continent. I am happy to report that for this momentous occasion we did not really bother checking out the penguins or seals, we hiked up as high as we could with the 20-year-old guide and went down the mountain in the single greatest sledding hill you could ever imagine in your life. We followed that up with an Antarctic-level snow fight which left all of us tackled on the ground and tired. If you think we are just talking about Whitney and E.B., you are wrong. Warren joined in as did many of the over-60 set. Some friends of ours took a great video of Whitney going down the mountain. We’ll upload it later. In the meantime, if you need a positive image for your daily meditation we suggest using this.

We are having so much fun that it has been hard in some respects to focus on the scientific exploration of this place. We provide for you here a crib sheet of everything we have learned so far. You may notice that we have tunnel-visioned our learning to “things which could kill us.”

1. 1. Bird watching can get really boring. However, there are two birds not to ignore, Skuas and Terns. They’ll both take your eyes out and crap all over you.
2. 2. Penguins swimming can look a lot like whales swimming. If you mistake the two you lose some serious ship cred.
3. 3. You can not only survive, but live happily without cell phones, the internet, television and advertisements.
4. 4. There is such a thing as erosion by air and snow algae (red and green varieties have been seen).
5. 5. Leopard seals are crazy vicious. If you see one and you are in a zodiac it is best to leave the area quickly (sorry to the group whose zodiac was punctured during the iceberg tour. We got some great pictures right before you showed up.)
6. 6. Orcas are the only animal that can take out leopard seals and everything else in the water. And they are dolphins. Good luck with that PR recovery campaign - dolphins.
7. 7. Kindles are great if they work (small “I told you so” from E.B.). And they do not have wi fi coverage in Antarctica.
8. 8. You are never too old to play in the snow, party in someone’s hotel room, or be the last person in the dining room.